Also, simply because my mere existence isn't embarrassing enough, this morning I upped the ante with my big mouth. Biting into a chocolate eclair that was supplied for a coworkers birthday, I was surprised with an explosion of filling on my chin, the shock of which made me drop the whole damn thing on the floor in front of everyone. Coworkers all collapse in hysterics and I blurt out without thinking, "Well, I wasn't expecting cream to explode out onto my chin!" They went crazy.
So not only did I have eclair filling all over the lower half of my face, I then had to clean up the floor before the crazy ass janitor saw it and lectured me in whatever language it is that he speaks.
So many jokes, so little time.