I am very aware of the abundance of blog material regarding the holidays, stress, family, money, etc., but I cannot pass up the opportunity to share the what I consider to be the true bane of the Christmas season - TRAFFIC. My first observation is that there are lots of folks out driving around that normally aren't and probably shouldn't be, i.e., the senile ones. I have personally observed some fairly spectacular and terrifying maneuvers firsthand, and include, but are not limited to, driving the wrong way on a one way street, backing down a ramp in a parking garage, executing a 247590234750973406 point turn in the middle of a major thoroughfare and the always popular stopping a green lights. I try really really hard not to go nuts and scream when confronted with these situations because after all, it IS Christmas plus I have a pretty soft spot for older people that usually keeps my rage in check.
However, although the senior set is pretty much absolved of guilt in my book, there is another group who isn't. You know who they are. Those who won't let anyone over, who snake parking spaces (their time is soooo much more important than yours, you know), who ride your butt while you are doing the speed limit in a neighborhood and who generally seem to have forgotten that EVERYONE is busy, hectic and overwhelmed at this time of year. The meanies are out in force! Drew Carey has a joke about work that I love which could easily be appropriate for the holiday insanity and it goes something like this: “Oh, you hate your job (insert Christmas craziness here)? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” My point is that just like most other things about life, we are all in it together, so sit in your traffic, run your nine million errands, hate your family get togethers and spend your money you don't have just like the rest of us losers. Get over it and stop driving like an asshole.
Parting thought that I stole from a friend just now while on the phone: "I need to hang up so I can use both hands, I mean both fingers." Makes you feel kinda warm and fuzzy, doesn't it? Merry Christmas Everyone!
It turns out that the program that my new camera uses does not play nicely with the rigged up scenarios going on in my work computer. Which is frustrating on several different levels, mostly because it is impeding my emailing/blogging/facebooking of pictures, and also because I do actually use the camera for work. Occasionally. Grrrrr...
And because it's that time of year, here is one of my favorite holiday email jokes...
Prescription for those who need some inner peace during the Holidays.
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished." So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Vodka, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kailua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those you feel might be in need of inner peace.
Here in furniture land, this is a historically slow time of every year, stock market/recession notwithstanding. Combine that with the current economic situation and we have progressed WAY past slow and onto mind numbingly stopped. Which brings me around to the personal side of this time of year, which is historically insanely busy. What forces of the universe bring these two counter currents into juxtaposition? WHY WHY WHY am a stuck here at work with absolutely NOTHING to do and when the Christmas to do list is a freaking mile long?! Combine the stress of unfinished list with the fact that no business equals no money and you are sure to understand why I am losing my mind right now. Not that it takes much, mind you.
Also, simply because my mere existence isn't embarrassing enough, this morning I upped the ante with my big mouth. Biting into a chocolate eclair that was supplied for a coworkers birthday, I was surprised with an explosion of filling on my chin, the shock of which made me drop the whole damn thing on the floor in front of everyone. Coworkers all collapse in hysterics and I blurt out without thinking, "Well, I wasn't expecting cream to explode out onto my chin!" They went crazy.
So not only did I have eclair filling all over the lower half of my face, I then had to clean up the floor before the crazy ass janitor saw it and lectured me in whatever language it is that he speaks.
Issues: Waiting For whatever reason, Will is not falling in step with the waiting until Christmas to open the gifts rule. We have tried in many different ways to explain, threaten, cajole and soothe his turmoil regarding said waiting. His standard answer is that Santa Claus can just bring some more. Uh-huh.
Giving I was talking to Cecilia about participating in Toys for Tots and she asked me why we were doing this. Explanation about being generous, thankful, season of giving, less fortunate, etc. ensued. She looks at me and says, "Well, why doesn't Santa bring them?". Good question that doesn't really have a good explanation. Any suggestions on this one are appreciated.
The Big List Santa is watching to see if you are naughty or nice. My kids aren't buying this, I can tell. They are so rotten (but still sweet of course) that it is inconceivable to them that there is even a possibility that the gifts won't appear on Christmas Day, no matter their behavior. Telling, isn't it?
What I really want to accomplish is a sense of gratitude and appreciation for what they have and the life they lead (on their level of course) without scaring them or exposing them to too much. Looking into this and will report back.