Monday, January 5, 2009

Clicking Refresh

Now that we are finally done with the holiday season, there was some actual time to kill this past weekend. Which, as anyone who knows me understands, was difficult for me. I am not much of a homebody or a couch potato, but totally admire those who can successfully do nothing for extended periods of time. My Zen must not be as good as theirs because I am pretty much incapable of just hanging out. I like to play with the kids but even then, I need an organized effort of some variety to work with - a framework, if you will. The weather has been working against me on this front as we have had record breaking warm sunny days during the work week and several crappy weekends in a row. This brings me around to the point of this post. Now that the hard core hands on child rearing is morphing more into observing and encouraging independence, I find myself bored. Yes, bored. This is not to say that I don't have anything to do, it is more that I don't have anything I want to do, and we have already established how I feel about doing nothing. Compound this with limited means and I turn into a pacing, circling, irritable lunatic coming up with insane ideas to entertain oneself, like dragging my kids to the park to play on the playground. Sounds perfectly sane right? Yeah, not really - it was during a rainstorm. They had fun all the same but still. I think the bigger issue is that I don't have anything to really really think about or care about (this is me personally and is no way a reflection of my feelings about being a mother, wife, employee, etc.) I need a hobby, class, skill, interest - SOMETHING to be into. I was chatting with a friend earlier today and she feels the same way - you wake up in the morning and click refresh. I'm beginning to investigate a solution and will update you all as soon as I am inspired. Maybe I'll become obsessed with health and exercise. Right.

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