1. There is no hot water. Ever.
2. We have three kinds of carpet in one room.
3. We have a serious critter population. Which is why using something other than a designated trash can could get you beat up.
4. It's not unusual for employees to carry weapons and occasionally use them.
5. It's not unusual for employees to have alcohol in their desks. See above.
6. We have lead pipes. Which explains a lot of things.
7. One of my coworkers has pink hair. But not in a punk rawk way.
8. We have one of those old school coffee vending machines where a cup is 50 cents.
9. The janitor speaks English but it's so geechie you need an interpreter.
10. A police dog once fell through the ceiling.
11. We have two Steves, two Shelleys, and three Joes.
12. The geechie janitor is magic. He can vanish and reappear at will. He also knows where everyone is at all times.
13. The TV in the break room only gets one channel and it is always on "the stories".