Monday, March 2, 2009

Rebeccah Connelly, Meanie Pants

While I am normally a pretty upbeat person, occasionally I get in these moods that are either very dark or very angry. Generally this is short-lived and leaves only a few casualties. (Fatalies are extremely rare, but not unheard of, btw.) Anyway, the last couple of days has found me in one of the angry moods. Not like scary stay away from her angry - more along the lines of simmering just below the surface, waiting to leak out. Even more unsettling, I feel like being mean. Really mean. Which is also weird for me, because even though I do have a tendency towards mouthing off, I'm not really known for pure ugliness. What bothers is me is why this happens. I have a list of things that I am not happy about, but I know that I have tons of blessings, so what is the problem? Why does the bad list overshadow the good one? I have a friend whose child has very recently been diagnosed with cancer, and here I am complaining about MY life? Make me feel like a jerk, and I try to keep it in perspective, but sometimes it feels like I will never get a break. I told Lawt that I would almost rather being hit once with a bat, than hit fifty times with a ruler. I know this isn't super fun light reading like usual, but I think sometimes you just have to gripe a little before you can dust yourself off and keep going. Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for my REAL life to start, like this one is just a test run, which it very obviously is not. Enough complaining - things will be back to normal next post. If anyone else feels this way, it would be nice to know about...(hint, hint - comments!)

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1 comment:

Suburban Turmoil said...

I DEFINITELY feel that way occasionally. One time when I felt that way, I flipped the bird to a MOTHER on the road. Oh yes I did. Another time, I mouthed off to a COP who was bothering me in the airport pick-up lane. TOTALLY NOT ME. In fact, when the actions happened, I was SHOCKED at myself. It was just a lot of stuff simmering under the surface, I think. So just yell, "TAWANDA!" and try to get through it. ;)