Saturday, August 27, 2011

Heartbroken

***Updated***
Tai passed away at home today, September 20, 2011. Always a gentleman, he waited until no one was around and crossed the rainbow bridge alone. I believe in my heart that he did this for me, as I was agonizing over putting him to sleep tomorrow as planned. I will always love him and know that we will meet again one day.


So I found out Friday that my beloved 13 year old Siamese cat is in renal failure. I'm gut punched. I knew that something was wrong, but I've always managed to convince myself that he would die in his sleep one day due to his heart condition. We don't know what our immediate future holds but we are going to try to treat him as best we can. And make decisions about him as they come up.

It's a strange thing, the love one can feel for an animal. They can't talk, they don't help around the house and you have to clean up after them. Does anyone know how they touch your heart? I have been trying to get myself together ever since speaking to the vet yesterday afternoon but haven't been terribly successful. My human babies have been so sweet, as they are concerned when Mommy walks around sniffling. Or, as in the case of last night, just lying on the floor with the cat, silent tears streaming down.

Anyone who has ever met this animal knows how special he is. Totally opposite all normal preconceptions about cats, he's personable, friendly, loving, somewhat trained and gorgeous. He's gone from a wild kitten climbing the drapes to a senior citizen content to snooze 23 hours a day. Right now he feels awful, but he still is following me around, wanting me to hold him.

I know some people will say either to themselves or aloud, "It's just a cat." Well, no, he's not - he's much more than that. He's thirteen years of love incarnate. He has been a part of my life since before I was married. He's survived pancreatitis, cancer and a serious heart problem. He has come to cuddle with me every single time I've been sad enough to cry out loud.

My goal is to help him be comfortable and hope some of the interventions help prolong his life some. And when he gets to the point that his quality of life isn't worth it anymore, I'll be the one who holds him while we say goodbye. There will never be another Tai-phung - he is one in a million.

In honor of cats and for cat lovers everywhere...have a look at an old post of mine - you anti-cat people might change your minds. ;-)

http://connellyconfusion.blogspot.com/2007/08/thursday-thirteen_30.html



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2 comments:

Becky Hoppmann said...

oh rebecca, Im so sorry. i can honestly say i understand how you feel completely. all you can do is comfort him and remember all the ways he has touched your life. my heart breaks when i hear news about someones kitty, but it breaks even a little more when its a siamese... call me bias, i dont care.

much love to you and T, and family,
beck

bereccah said...

Thanks so much...I'm hoping that he'll have some time with treatment, but it's a long row to hoe. We'll just have to see. I may have to come hold Ruby and Pearl at some point...