Wednesday, February 8, 2012

And Then The Spider On The Ceiling Laughed At Me. True Story.

So yesterday was a regular day for the most part. I got to go to the Apple store and for a PC/Blackberry person, this is like going to an exotic foreign country. Super fun.

The wtf part of yesterday began when I spilled my soup all over my desk. Oh, and some splashed onto my clothes, leaving me to reek of eau du jambon (look it up) for the rest of the afternoon. No big deal really. Went to get the kids, headed home and began dinner.

For whatever reason last night, my children were being completely annoying. What? They were. The most frustrating part of this is that they weren't doing anything easily defined. Not quite disrespectful, not quite uncooperative, not quite disobedient - juuuust enough to really work my nerves. All evening.

Finally get them in bed with minimal scolding and then I decide to take a bath instead of a Xanax chased with a six pack, which is what I wanted to do. Better, right? No. Turns out this was not the right decision, for the following reasons:
  • Ran out of hot water. I guess I didn't wait long enough after the kids showered, which, as I see it, is totally their fault somehow.
  • Tried to read Skirt! magazine while sitting in the tub. Over sized publication (that I love, even though it betrayed me last night) apparently had a wedding insert in it that kept causing it to flop over. Fought with the magazine for a little bit...right unto it flopped over into the water.
  • I was using a folded up towel in lieu of a pillow (that I don't have - note to self) and when the magazine battle began, my efforts to keep the paper dry was counterproductive to keeping the towel dry. Le sigh.
  • Begin awkward scramble to get all undesired objects out of the tub. Shaving cream can joins the fun. Bubble bath bottle hits the floor, begins leaking.
  • Throw magazine across the bathroom, try to get all the way under the water and recover my wa. (look it up)
  • Towel slides in again.
  • Throw towel across the bathroom.
  • Heave huge sigh (which I'm really good at - just ask my husband) look heavenward to satisfy my need to be dramatic about how the universe is treating me at the moment.
  • Notice spider (that I'm sure is a brown recluse dripping with flesh eating poison) on the ceiling. Quite sure it snickered at me.
  • Finally, I give up and exit the bathtub and get dressed.
And people wonder why I go to bed at 8:50 PM. ^This. This is why.

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7 comments:

Susan said...

"Le sigh". Oh yes, some days that says it all!

Kiran said...

Xanax and a six pack, huh? Too funny, haven't tried that yet but must add it to my calgon moments. I feel like I had a similar night but the only ones laughing were my conniving son (2 1/2) and my meanie daughter (4 1/2). God they can be such bullies. At least that is what i felt like today! :-)

bereccah5 said...

Truly, it does. I'm trying not to go bananas, which is my usual response. Looking for the humor helps me not lose it!

bereccah5 said...

I talk a big game but it really would be more like a two pack. Hee hee! :-)

Susan said...

Humor does help, sleep helps more. I'm in bed at 9 sometimes too. I don't feel like a grown-up, though. and not always better rested.

bereccah5 said...

Sleep totally helps more. When my husband was out of the country, I went to sleep SUPER early, there was no snoring to wake me up and by some miraculous twist of fate neither child woke me up all week. I felt like a rock star by the time he got back. Sigh is right.

Hatton said...

I'm so excited to discover your blog and thanks for your comment on scary mommy :) I'm not big on valentines day either - its one more thing to add to my always growing task list!