The wtf part of yesterday began when I spilled my soup all over my desk. Oh, and some splashed onto my clothes, leaving me to reek of eau du jambon (look it up) for the rest of the afternoon. No big deal really. Went to get the kids, headed home and began dinner.
For whatever reason last night, my children were being completely annoying. What? They were. The most frustrating part of this is that they weren't doing anything easily defined. Not quite disrespectful, not quite uncooperative, not quite disobedient - juuuust enough to really work my nerves. All evening.
Finally get them in bed with minimal scolding and then I decide to take a bath instead of a Xanax chased with a six pack, which is what I wanted to do. Better, right? No. Turns out this was not the right decision, for the following reasons:
- Ran out of hot water. I guess I didn't wait long enough after the kids showered, which, as I see it, is totally their fault somehow.
- Tried to read Skirt! magazine while sitting in the tub. Over sized publication (that I love, even though it betrayed me last night) apparently had a wedding insert in it that kept causing it to flop over. Fought with the magazine for a little bit...right unto it flopped over into the water.
- I was using a folded up towel in lieu of a pillow (that I don't have - note to self) and when the magazine battle began, my efforts to keep the paper dry was counterproductive to keeping the towel dry. Le sigh.
- Begin awkward scramble to get all undesired objects out of the tub. Shaving cream can joins the fun. Bubble bath bottle hits the floor, begins leaking.
- Throw magazine across the bathroom, try to get all the way under the water and recover my wa. (look it up)
- Towel slides in again.
- Throw towel across the bathroom.
- Heave huge sigh (which I'm really good at - just ask my husband) look heavenward to satisfy my need to be dramatic about how the universe is treating me at the moment.
- Notice spider (that I'm sure is a brown recluse dripping with flesh eating poison) on the ceiling. Quite sure it snickered at me.
- Finally, I give up and exit the bathtub and get dressed.