Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Dear Anonymous

I have a hard and fast rule about fighting with people online. Because really, if you get into a fight with someone on the internet, you've already lost if you ask me. However, I have another hard and fast about this being blog being my house. And by that I mean no one gets to come here and be an ass - not to my readers, not to my commenters and for damn sure not to me. That privilege is reserved for yours truly. Anyway.

Here's the thing - I don't owe you a response, Anonymous. But I want to mostly because this is a classic example of thoughtlessly commenting about something you have no idea about. And since I have a commenting system in place, only people who use it can leave comments that are visible to anyone but me. And this same commenting system also does not allow me to respond to comments left through Google when they are left anonymously. So I would like to respond to this lovely comment you left me last week here on my blog so that everyone can see it. Here it is:

 "IMO, this sends the wrong message to kids- if you pout about it, you'll get what you want. Calling the school and requesting changes for a fifth grader? I don't think the principal should have said yes. She got manipulated and so did you. I do think it's important to advocate for our kids, even the "easy" ones, but knowing when and what's really important is key."

You made an awful lot of assumptions. You assumed my daughter was pouting. You assumed she was being manipulative. You assumed I am easily manipulated. You assumed my principal is easily manipulated. You assumed I did something like asking for a class change because my kid was pouting. You assumed I have no idea when or when not to push for my children. You assumed my motivation was simply to get what she wanted, implying that she is some kind of spoiled princess and that I'm basically an idiot.

Here's the thing: you don't know me. You don't know my child. You don't know my principal, my teacher or my school. The other stuff you don't know are the things I left unsaid, like: there are several kids in the previous class who are major behavioral problems and the teacher was having to stop every two minutes for classroom management. Oh, and how my daughter is applying to a super-competitive magnet school for next year, making her learning situation this year critically important. One more thing - I'm pretty sure the principal of our school wouldn't really like any of this either, considering how well-regarded she is as an administrator. Lastly, we were fully prepared to accept the situation as is and carry on - we asked to see if we could get, which is how people who want things get them. 

The reason I know you don't know me is because NO-ONE who knows me or my daughter would have said something this crappy. I can also tell you've never read my blog before because NONE of my readers would have made these assumptions.

I have no problem with people disagreeing with me. I'm a big girl. But I do have a problems with all kinds of inaccurate assumptions being made about me, and I have a  REALLY BIG problem with you making these kinds of assumptions about my child. So the next time you want to leave me a nasty comment, how about assuming yourself up a user name and put it out where we all can see it?

Thanks and bless your heart,
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Tanya Doyle said...

Hi Rebeccah, I haven't posted commented in a while...life's been hectic. But wanted to chime in on this one. When I read your last post, I thought, "oooh, I'm not going to touch that one with a ten foot pole." Not because I had anything critical to say,but it just seemed like one that could easily grow into something.

I think we bloggers make ourselves vulnerable by posting personal stories, particularly of ones that involve our kids. It always leaves us open to attack. Even the most benign stories can be criticized by someone, somewhere. I've read the anon comment a few times, and if it were me, I too would be shaken and offended. I'd hope I could eventually shake it off and be grateful there were no four letter words thrown around.

I don't have much else... just wanted to send some support your way.

Tanya Doyle said...

couldn't figure out how to login to disqus...it's numberwhisperer from originalthoughts...

bereccah5 said...

Hey Tanya! It's fine. I actually sat on this for a few days because I wanted to make sure I felt like I was standing up for myself and my daughter versus just being pissed/crazy. You are absolutely right about being vulnerable and like I said, people are welcome to disagree, but I felt like a line was crossed. I'm so glad to hear from you - I love following all your west coast adventures. To this southern east coast girl, that looks like a foreign country!